Landlines rule.
Smart Phones Drool.
Granny Phone is a corded home phone that calls other Granny Phones. It connects over the internet — but its analog form makes it dumb rather than smart. There's no phone line, no SIM, no carrier contract. You control exactly who can call, and when. Everyone else goes straight to silence.
Built for kids who need a real way to stay in touch with family and friends — without everything else the internet brings with it.
Gloriously, magnificently, spectacularly dumb.
No apps. No notifications. No TikTok rabbit holes at 2am. No 'you might also like' recommendations. Just a phone that phones.
Plug it into your router. Log in to your dashboard. Set who can call and when. Walk away knowing your kid won't be doom-scrolling at midnight. Radical concept.
Calls the right people. Ignores everyone else.
Set your approved call list and that's your kid's entire phone book. Mum, Dad, Grandma, one carefully vetted friend. Everyone else? Straight to nowhere.
Scammers get the silent treatment.
If your number's not on the approved list, the phone never rings. Not a 'unknown caller' message. Not a single beep. Actual, beautiful, blissful silence.
Month-to-month. No funny business.
No annual lock-ins. No 'cancel anytime (but first talk to our retention specialist)' tricks. No setup fees. Just $12.50 a month. Cancel whenever. We're cool with it.
You set the rules. The phone enforces them.
90 seconds to set up. Zero tech knowledge required. Works exactly as advertised — which, for a phone, should not feel remarkable but somehow does.
Add New Phone
Name it, set the time zone, forget about it. Setup takes about 90 seconds.
Linked Phones
Phones that can call each other using extensions
- Zoe's Phoneext. 2841
Receives calls: 08:00 – 19:00
Edit hoursRemove - Opa's Phoneext. 7302
Receives calls: 09:00 – 20:00
Edit hoursRemove
Link Grandma's phone to the kids'. Family calling sorted. No app required.
Hardware
One-time purchase. Cheaper than a kids' smartwatch. Just saying.
Monthly Plan
- No lock-in contracts
- Cancel anytime (seriously)
- No setup fees, no gotchas
We're not done yet.
That's why you should order now.
Granny Phone is in alpha — which means it's real, it works, and a small number of families are using it every day. It also means we're still finding the edges, fixing the rough bits, and building toward a proper beta release.
Pre-order now and you'll be among the first into beta. In return, you lock in $12.50/month for your first six months. Consider it the founding-family rate.
Small group. Real phones. Finding the rough bits.
You're here. Locked-in pricing. Bugs get squashed.
Open to everyone. Pricing TBD.
No charge until your phone ships. Cancel any time before then.
You've got questions. (Probably.)
We've got answers. And opinions.
Yes — pick it up, dial, talk. Hang up. That's the whole experience. It connects through your home internet router (no phone line subscription needed), and to the person on the other end it sounds and works just like any other call.
They hear 'this number is not available' and that's that. The phone on your end doesn't ring, doesn't vibrate, doesn't light up. Beautiful, peaceful silence. Scammers, cold callers, your neighbour who talks for 45 minutes — all equally ignored.
No — and this is important. Granny Phone can't call 000, 999, 911, or any emergency service. Think of it like a walkie-talkie rather than your main phone: brilliant for staying connected with the people you choose, not a replacement for a primary communication device. Always have a backup way to reach emergency services. We mean it.
Any standard home broadband router with a spare ethernet port. WiFi-only setups won't work — the phone needs a wired connection. If you've got a cable sticking out of a box on the wall, you're probably fine.
As many as you like. Link the kids' phone to Grandma's phone to cousins' phones. It's like building a private family phone network. Very retro. Very excellent.
Log in, click Cancel, done. No retention calls. No 'are you sure? what if we offered you...' guilt trips. No 12-week cancellation process. Just cancelled. We'll miss you, but we won't stalk you.
Yep. You buy the phone once, it's yours. The $12.50/month covers the service. The phone stays yours even if you cancel — though it'll be a very pretty paperweight without the service.
Not yet — right now you set a single daily calling window. Weekend-specific hours are on our roadmap. (We're working on it. The phone is simple; the dashboard gets smarter.)
Turns out, we have opinions.
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